Mature intimate dating
Essentially, the historical reality is that until 30 or 40 years ago, long, intimate friendships between men and women in which each served as the other's emotional confidante, relationship adviser and "best buddy" were far less common than they are today.
So is the trend toward intimate friendships between single men and women a good thing? If you haven't read my previous articles on biblical dating, you'll be helped in thinking through this issue by reading "Biblical Dating: How It's Different From Modern Dating." Based on some of the principles found there, let me offer a couple of practical reasons why I believe such friendships to be generally unwise, and then I'll suggest a positive role for friendship among singles in the Christian community.
These dudes are stuck in emotional "playpens" preventing them from forming healthy (and intimate) adult relationships and where the women in their lives are in the position of either pushing them around like toddlers in a baby carriage or screaming "Get up and walk on your own! Usually, emotional immaturity isn't obvious right away. If his mother abandoned him, he may be looking for a clingy lady.
In the first few weeks and months of dating, as our best selves are presented, we've found ourselves thinking, Finally, a guy who isn't emotionally stunted! But at some point, the curtain is pulled back just like in the "Wizard of Oz" and, yup, his emotional issues are right there. If his mother expected him to be "the man of the family," he may be looking for a woman who is helpless and needs taking care of. What he really needs: To realize that you are NOT his mother.
More specifically, verse 10 reminds us that "[l]ove does no harm to its neighbor." Romans 14:1-15:7 offers a discourse on favoring weaker brothers and sisters above ourselves, valuing and encouraging that which is good in the souls of others.
When you're in a relationship with someone, certain conversations become accessible that would have never been an option if you weren't in one. The questions are just a gateway into the powerful communication which can serve to bond you and your partner in such a way that the two of you are forever intertwined.
You can't teach an old dog not to eat a bag of potato chips right before bed, as they say.12. This isn't our first time at the vagina rodeo, if you know what I mean.
Having romantic and intimate talks with your partner can be both fun and informative. Love often begins simply with attraction, mutual interests, and a shared sense of enjoyment which allows two people to be happy in each other's company, but love grows through conversation.
It can help strengthen your bond, as you and your partner will speak of things that don't typically come up in platonic relationships. 8) Would you stay with me if I were in an accident that scarred my appearance for life? When you tell someone things about yourself that you've never told anyone, you make yourself vulnerable.
How intimate of a friendship with someone of the opposite sex is OK? Won't the friendship be ruined if one of us expresses romantic interest and the other doesn't respond favorably?
Basically, the question seems to be how exactly single Christians should relate to members of the opposite sex in that large and awkward zone between "we've never met" and a deliberate dating or courting relationship. I won't repeat the full history lesson here, as several Boundless authors have already discussed it (Joshua Rogers most recently, in his excellent piece "Your Friendgirl Deserves Better").